School

I get to go for my advising session on the 11th of next month and am so EXCITED!!! But I have alot to think about. For one: they have a RN fast track program that I am thinking about doing. This would help me get the RN in 1 to 1 and a half years instead of 2 to 2 and a half years.

Do I really want to do this? Do I have the balls to do it? Can I balance my family with a double dose of school? I am asking myself all these questions and the hubby really doesn't seem to care which way I go......... I don't think he grasps what it would require him to do!! I don't know what kinda pressure this would put on me or my body. And as some of you know, my body hasn't really been handling stress good since the histerectomy. Oh, well!!! I will just talk to the professionals to see what they think!!

Abbigail is pulling herself up!!! YEA!!

BTW..........

I guess I treat my kids like Slaves....... Do You?

So I got the comment one day( from a person that I really don't like anyways) about how I treat my kids like slaves. I know this is coming from my husbands Ex, but whatever.

I have my kids do one chore a day and make sure to pick up after themselves. They say, 'Yes Mam/Sir' and 'No mam/sir', they always want to help out, and they love having movie nights with the parents. They think it is cool when we devote a night just to them.

I  have an excellent bond and relationship with my step-children. They might not always speak highly of me (especially when Hayle is PMS'ing and getting in trouble with her father, always my fault BTW) but that happens when they begin to get into their teenage years.

I am a good parent that wants my kids to learn responsiblility and how to care for themselves................ So my question is, When someone says that just because I don't pick up after my kids, my kids have chores (even the 4 yr old), or I want my kids to concentrate on school and not the little kids down the street, is that treating them like slaves?

I go to school, I cook supper most every night, I am a constant voice for my children, and I want them to be weel adjusted children.................... Slaves or How I was raised................. You choose! Just don't judge me if my kids are NOT the ones running up and down the isles at the local grociery store, screaming, and acting like brats!!

Venting AGAIN!!!

So it is one of those days where I have no energy, am watching the stupid Discovery Health Channel and the birthing shows (I know, not the brightest thing I have done) and then it hits me......... I want to freakin throw things about the fact that I can't have more kids, I am just so angry with the Dr's for not counseling me on the effects of my Uterine Fibroid. What did they expect........ after my first c-section that they wouldn't have to tell me what it meant, that I would just google it?!? (I was really too drugged up to care while I was in surgery, so I only remembered bits and pieces!!) The Dr acted like it was no big deal!!! And then they saw I had one on my last Sonogram with my last birth and the Sonogram tech just asked me if I knew I had one........ I of course said that I had been told during my last c-section........ Then nothing else was said about it. I never knew the only way to get rid of them was to do a hysterectomy, I was never counseled on the effects that one could have on my pregnancy, and I sure as Hell was pissed BEYOND belief when I googled about the whole mess after everything was said and done!!

And the funny thing........... I want to go write on forums about how I am feeling but everyone is talking about pregnancy or c-sections or Vbacs or Homebirths......... not healing after a hysterectomy that happened before I was ready. I feel like I don't belong. I guess all the stress from school and the constant stress that the kids give me by not listening is getting to me. Not to mention that my hormones are just now evening themselves out and I am PMS'ing for the first time since the surgery................ Did you know that sometimes I wish that since they did the surgery on April Fool's Day, I want it all to be one cruel joke............

I really want to stay in contact with the forums because I know when I start my Certified Midwife School, it will be a great resource. These women know what they are talking about when it comes to birth and all things birth-ey (is that even a word........ oh well!!). But right now it is getting to be too hard to even log on to see how the vbacers are doing! I want to be there, to help support those that can. But by doing so I am still stuck thinking about my own failure. I just hope that when I go to the Dr, they may be able to help..........